Saturday, February 16, 2013

Long Time

It has been a long time since I have posted and I guess I just fell out of it because of school.
A lot of things have happened. I have made mistakes and now I have lost the love of my life.

I cracked yesterday and today was not any better. I feel like my world is crashing down around me. My anxiety has been on extreme and depression has hit. I am trying to not say anything that would upset J because I know he doesn't like it when I share our business but I need to vent.

I thought he was the one, I still believe it. I am the only person that has hope and it kills me. I took responsibility because I know I took out my stress on him when he is the one that keeps me sane and extremely happy. I feel like an awful person and I know that he deserves better I just wish that I was worth enough to be his. I know people keep telling me to not decide my worth on anyone but I do. I feel like God made me and J for each other, but then I messed it up single handed.

What makes it worse is that we would have turned one year tomorrow. I already got some gifts that i really just want to leave wrapped and hide from my sight. I had so many plans for us and our future. I miss him. I wish he was out of training because I know it would be different if he was here. I know that there wouldn't be the stress nor the arguments. Him being gone is hard and it's even worse that I know that I lost the love of my life.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012


Sorry I have not been posting much recently, I have been overwhelmed in exam studying and spring semester scheduling! Pleasseeeee forgive me!!

I did want to share about the NOH8 Campaign and how I just find the campaign INCREDIBLE!!!